The Postpartum Plan

11/30/2012

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The time right after you bring your new baby home can be very overwhelming. Planning ahead for this time can make your transition much smoother.  
During pregnancy  most parents learn about birth plans and the benefit of sharing your plan with those involved in supporting you during birth. Have you though about who is on your support team for after the birth?  Hiring a Postpartum Doula, talking to friends and family about how they can help, getting meals arranged...all of these things will help. Working through a written postpartum plan will enable you to get all of your resources lined up before the baby arrives!

 I encourage all expectant parents to be able to answer the questions below, and be clear in advance who you will ask for help postpartum. 

Positive Postpartum Plan

Our family's plan is to have a smooth postpartum period. We know that we will be tired even when things go well, and we will need some additional support.

Our village (support people) with phone numbers (friends, family, neighbors, religious community, babysitters, and professionals):
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

People who will cook or coordinate healthy food (such as getting takeout gift cards, coordinating Mealtrain or Lotsa Helping Hands).  Don't forget to have a couple of grocery lists available for people who want to shop, as well as round-trip printed directions from your house to grocery stores available for those who ask!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

People who will specifically support the new mother (including times of day available) for rests, showers, walking partners, visits, phone/Skype chats, positive parenting support/advice, and anything else she needs. Great to organize at the shower or religious birth ritual.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  
People who will specifically support the partner/spouse/husband (including times of day available) for rests, showers, walking partners, visits, phone/Skype chats, positive parenting support/advice, and anything else he/she needs. Great to organize at the shower or religious birth ritual.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

People who will specifically support other child/ren.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
Mom's self-care plan (if you love to do it and it makes you happy, make time for it!)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Partner/spouse/husband's self-care plan (if you love to do it and it makes you happy, make time for it!)
                                                                                                                                                   


                                                                                                                                                                                                                      
   This form was created by Mara Acel-Green, a psychotherapist specializing in postpartum depression and other perinatal mood disorders and posted on Amanda Lowe's blog The doula Guide. Please see her blog for the complete article.
A few other great  resources are the postpartum plan at  Dona.org   and  the tips for a great baby-moon at Molly Reamer's blog The Attached Family.

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the new moms "jar" what is in yours?

05/04/2011

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The following is a story that has moved through many e-mail boxes in the last few years. A doula friend of mine pointed out that it can be used to remind new moms how to take care of themselves (more on that after the story)
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A  professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items  in front of him.
When  the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and  empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf  balls.
He  then asked the students if the jar was full.  
They  agreed that it was.

The  professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into  the jar He shook the jar lightly.  
 The  pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.  
 He  then asked the students again if the jar was full.  
 They  agreed it was.

The  professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the  jar.
 Of  course, the sand filled up everything else.  
 He  asked once more if the jar was full.  
 The  students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'  

The professor then  produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire  contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space  between the sand.
 The  students laughed..

'Now,'  said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to  recognize that this jar represents your life.  
 
  The  golf balls are the important things---your family, your  children, your health, your friends and your favorite  passions---and if everything else was lost and only they  remained, your life would still be full.  

The pebbles are the  other things that matter like your job, your house and your  car.

The  sand is everything else---the small stuff.  
 
  'If  you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is  no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.  
 
The  same goes for life.
If you  spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will  never have room for the things that are important to  you.  

Pay  attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.  
 Spend  time with your children.
 Spend  time with your parents.
 Visit  with grandparents.
 Take  time to get medical checkups.  
 Take  your spouse out to dinner.  
 Play  another 18.
 
  There  will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.  
 
  Take  care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.  
 
  Set  your priorities.
 
  The  rest is just sand.
 
  One of  the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer  represented.
 
  The  professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'  

The Beer just shows you  that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always  room for a couple of Beers with a  friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, how is your “jar” filled?

Top 5 self care items for new moms

1. Sleep- opportunity to nap, rest

2. Nutrition- the car won't go without gas!

3. Companionship (besides the baby)friends,family, relationship

4. Exercise/recreation- releases endorphins, helps moms lose  weight, helps self esteem

5. Selfish pleasures-- mani/pedi, massage, alone time, a bubble bath,free time to do hobby or read, time with girlfriends, a "night out"  with spouse, etc.


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